And He Died

Hey everybody, it’s been a few weeks ok, just kidding months. I have put a few blogs to pen, but none of them have seen the light of day. many apologies. It’s been a fun past 5 months since you’ve all heard from me last. but why talk about that; you want to hear what I’ve been thinking about and what’s been going on. At least that’s the theory of blogging.....



A New Way to Commute

On my way from Talbot to Work, I drive down the 5 Southbound. Pretty mundane. Lots of ipod listening, to music or sermons. Pandora’s awesome too. But recently I’ve been looking off to the left during the drive. Because on the way down the 5, there this church. They’ve got this huge red banner. It’s massive. Its only got like 3 words on it. And it gets me thinking when I drive past it. It simply says this “God is Love”.
Now, it get’s me wondering: Is that an attempt to witness to people... like did the leaders in the church say, ‘man we just can’t seem to get the word out enough, let’s go and get a huge sign’? Or was it just an attribute of God that they decided would be easy, to get people to relate to?

It just get’s me wondering what their definition of love is.

Really now, pause. Take a second, think about your day. Now zoom back from all the stuff that went on today. and now Picture a guy. Got him? yup. ok. well here’s the deal. He’s having the worst day. Ever.
This guy is standing there getting killed, helpless. And its my fault. really. He’s hanging off some shabby splintery wood. And its my fault. He’s calling out in pain, agony, just wanting God to take fellowship with him again. Wishing that his Father would look on him. All because God was angry about my sin. And was pouring out his wrath on his son. So that I didn’t have to pay.

Now. snap back to me on the freeway. Driving past a sign. “God is Love”. Hmmm. Maybe churches has no clue how to explain this love.


savior i come, quiet my soul
remember. redemptions hill
where your blood was spilled for my ransom
and everything i once held dear, i count it all as loss

lead me to the cross
Where Your Love Poured Out
bring me to my knees
lord i lay me down.



The Gospel wears shoes

It’s been a crazy semester. I’m taking a field education class, and one of the things that they want you to get involved with is evangelism. And to be honest the first time I read the requirements, I was like ‘oh man, how am I gonna get out of this one?’. Terrible I know.
Then I realized I had an opportunity to do exactly that, to go out and do street evangelism at UCI. I prayed about it for a good week. I asked God if there was anything else. I kept thinking maybe somehow getting the gospel out could be done another way. Surely God didn’t want me to go out and talk to people. That would just be silly. crazy even. zealotry or something.
But the more I kept in prayer, the more I realized how selfish I was being. And then I kept seeing my sin and how it was covered. covered. and I kept asking God to wash away and purify and sanctify me. And then God came in and reminded me that his love and mercy was going to extend beyond me. Because it wasn’t just about me. It was about him. It is about him, and the world. his mercy applied to his elect during all the ages. It’s about giving his Son’s sacrifice, an even greater amount of glory for every generation.
And like fuel on a fire, my heart became something that realized I could be blessed enough to share that same mercy to someone else who has yet to find it. What a strange conviction I realized that rain or shine, sickness or bad parking, I needed to seek people out.
that was a mindset shifter. grabbed my brain. wretched my heart. now it’s terrible. i walk into a starbucks. or a store. And the thing that makes me want to open my mouth and talk has shifted. Yet it’s so hard to actually do it. and it’s even worse talk to those I know.

Do you know what I mean? It’s hard. You see people looking over at you, wondering if you’re about ready to call them a sinner, tell them to repent and that they’re going to hell. It’s as if they know what you’re going to say. but they don’t know the whole picture!
I’ve had several conversations this past semester out at UCI with people, and the overwhelming response has been, to those who listen, that they’re glad to hear the gospel. almost as if it seems like something that makes sense. And that if Christ really did die, then yea, they could see why you would need to repent and believe. It’s just crazy. People are so locked up in their misconceptions of what christians are. and misconceptions of what Christ is about. Dang it, the gospel needs shoes. People who will go out there and just be normal people, who are passionately sold out for the message of the gospel, because Christ has the power to save.
that’d be novel. almost as if some bible verse commands it..

Everyone needs compassion
a love that’s never failing
let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
the kindness of a savior
the hope of nations

savior
he can move the mountains
my God is mighty to save
he is mighty to save



You’ll miss it when it’s Gone

I take things for granted in life and so do you. Really, we just can’t go through life appreciating all we have, and really letting it all sink in. So when we lose something, it becomes painful. I really does. Now mind you this. I’ve been working a job as a tech at my church. I really have taken for granted the building. the place to put gear. the hours of work it takes to set it all up.
and now we’ve started up a new church on campus at UCI. it’s really awesome don’t get me wrong. I love being able to schedule the rooms, and do some of the logistics for setting things up. But oh man. Do I miss having a church with a door. that you can lock, and just walk away from. It’s such a huge blessing to have a home-base for ministry. what a huge help it is to not have to worry about all the things that can go wrong, when you’re miles away from any backup equipment. how spoiled i have become.
and then we read about how believers in the earliest churches met in houses. like you know, without cd recorders, and bands, and speakers. oh man, that’d just be awesome. but thank God for the blessing of having the ability to meet in rooms like the student center at a secular college!



Blasting Out the next few weeks

Well I need to get off to sleep here soon. this past few weeks have been nuts. a few good sized projects at work, and at class, and then in ministry. just overall too much to write about. so with that, i anxiously await the break that will soon be near. as class draws to the end for the semester, I plan on writing again. but these are just a few of the thoughts that have been going through my head. it’s been so busy, honestly though, that this is not nearly reflective enough of what is going on. I’m constantly reminded of the areas that I fall short of God’s son, and where I yet again have to rely on his spirit to give me strength to live. may the next few days until I write next be marked by living in him and his power. that’s be something to look forward to...


-esquared