Sometimes you just get stuck in 'the middle'

        I’ve felt a small amount of grief at my prior statement in this blog. I promised to update and write a lot more than I have done. Much can be said about why I haven’t written that much. I could probably fill a few pages/books with, perhaps exciting, things. But surely I don’t need to write out or document my life, that’s something God alone knows anyway. I do want to recap some thoughts that have happened recently though. Seems like even admits all of the insanity God still works.

We’re in ‘Now-now, everything you see now, is happening now.’ ‘yes, but when will now be then?’ ‘soon..’
It’s funny how when I started school at Biola, I kept praying for direction. As if going to school wasn’t enough, I wanted a clear sense of why I was going to school to learn about God’s word. And admittedly even by the time I graduated I had no idea. Sadly enough I’m realizing this isn’t all that uncommon. I thought perhaps in the quietness of the biola prayer chapel that I was the only person crazy enough to think about this kind of thing. But surely God has been good to bring me to where I am, and to be merciful enough to bring me back to learn more about him.
It’s crazy to see that God has some direction in my life that he is even now willing to reveal. He’s been good to me by making me think practically about how I am going to use what I am learning, and by being around people who take God’s word seriously and want to see his kingdom advanced. I trust that he will be so gracious as for me to find many more people like this throughout the rest of my time here on this earth.

Sometimes you just get stuck in the middle
With perhaps a large dose of divine humor, I had my birthday song [the first song I sang at 12:03am on my birthday, on rockband :D ] be Jimmy Eat World’s ‘The Middle’. I call it a bit of divine humor because so much of the song feels like where I am now at, being 24. It’s odd to think that so many years have passed since high school, and even then to consider where I am yet to go. Seems a little bit in the middle. Not like midlife crisis in the middle, but more in the sense that I’m not quite where I want to be yet, from where I planned so many years ago. Now to concede that God is putting me exactly where he wants me, is fully true, but either way, much can be said about how things in my life just don’t feel ‘there’ yet.
I’d be the last one to complain, and honestly its been good to be here. I just look forward to a time in my life where I can discover a more effective way to minister to others. Granted I would not want to look down on my current efforts as worthless, far from it. But I seek a greater degree of God’s ability, that has yet to come. So perhaps this is just the middle of the ride

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little --- you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little --- you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.

My pillow has been writing me Love Letters telling me it misses the times we used to hang out
I confess, I exaggerate. But I still am sticking to the point that going to school, working full time and trying to have both a ministry and some degree of contact with people.... requires a lack of sleep. Perhaps detrimental to my own health, I have taken on the view that coffee is God’s gift to mankind. Perhaps not. Either way, I miss my pillow, I wish it were closer to me right now as I sit ‘studying’ for my next class. Oh yea and the Christmas Musical for my church is 2 weeks and counting. Go team.
Speaking of the Kid’s Christmas Musical I’m having the rare privilege of installing choir Mic’s that hang from the 18ft high ceiling. Cool huh. yea, more on that soon. I’ll let you know if I break anything. It’s gonna be awesome.

M-kay how about a few weeks and then an update?
In the quite possible case that things might get somewhat less crazy after the 15/16th of this month, I might just have some time to do a legitimate blog. But this one was some stuff that I wrote on my birthday a few days back and then edited some. So take it for what it is, incomplete at best. Either way its some of the thoughts that have been in my head. Expect something else soon, and remember to practice your vocab flash cards before they start piling up and... uhhh, well bite you. not that I did anything like that.... of course not. right?
-eric